Tag Archives: Kim Jong Ill

The one that got away.

On eighth of this month, the ill-fated (I am not sure) Malaysian aeroplane suddenly vanished from the skies like snow on a hot day and nobody, not even the sophisticated satellites have managed to triangulate its whereabouts. For an airborne monstrosity to simply vanish like that, it seems too impossible to be true.
Everybody is trying to come to terms with two possibilities. One, the plane has been hijacked and the passengers are now hostages in some nondescript location in a nondescript country.Two, the passengers and the crew is watching us from heaven (and hell) in amusement as we scurry around in bewildered confusion.
“Good night”. These are the eerie last words the pilot uttered before the blackout. Ostensibly his words were to let the passengers know it was snooze-time. Whether he meant the normal slumber or the one no one wakes up from, we might never know, only time will tell.
Several theories, (and they get weirder with time) have been proposed to explain this fascinating disappearance. From hijacking, to malfunction culminating in a crash, to the latest that; this plane was captured by aliens and whisked off to an alien planet eons of miles away in another solar system.
Aliens have a knack for being scapegoats of unexplained disappearances. How else did the Ancient Egyptians, sorry, aliens manage to build the architectural wonders that are the great pyramids. The wheel had barely been invented and bulldozers and graders were the stuff of a madman’s dreams. On this ground, I wish to excuse the brazen preposterousness behind aliens being involved in this.
Just like every monkey has its own tail, I now beg to advance my theory that;
’The captain and crew, possibly colluding with most of the passengers decided enough was enough. Enough of sending unmanned missions to Mars and the moon. Enough of spending billions of dollars paying fat checks to astrophysicists who sit all day peering through seemingly opaque telescopes.
Enough of Russia invading a sovereign country and practically staging an occupation in broad daylight . Enough of Kim Jong Ill executing entire members of his own family just to feel safe and snug in his throne. Enough of the white man asking the African man to sleep with a fellowman in the name of liberalism and human rights.
So on top of their lungs they shouted ‘’ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! ‘’And a mission was born. I beg to propose that the aeroplane, at the behest of the ‘astronauts’, turned into a spaceship. And I bet the planet of choice was Pluto. The fact that it’s so far from the sun means it’s cool and a man can finally rest in peace(pardon the pun) away from the heat of the sun. Whether you agree or disagree with my theory, it still makes a lot sense.
Have you ever thought about leaving the confusion, the hypocrisy, the pretence, the sorry state of our humanity and whisk yourself to another planet. I bet you have. And if you have never, soon you will. Each one of us yearns for a utopia where you don’t have to keep guessing what abomination will be visited upon a hapless human being by another. Why is the concept of heaven so appealing?
Away from metaphysics. Did you see the Asian witchdoctor? How unripe coconuts qualified to be part of his paraphernalia I have no idea. I admit It looked more tolerable than the unsightly and honestly speaking frightening African ensemble comprising human skulls, snake teeth and the impossibly present chameleons hair (lol) Made me a bit skeptical about the potency of their wizardry. And I had little hope that the hapless Asian Wizard would get a clue about the mystery surrounding the planes location.
Maybe they should extend their options to a certain well feared witchdoctor from my place. His name is Kathata is a fearsome reincarnation of Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter fans, are you there?) He sends spasms of terror coursing down the spines of even the most hardened criminals. The prospect of feeding on grass or going insane does not excite them one bit and that is why the rate of gangsters relocating elsewhere is very high (don’t ask me where I got this statistic but be assured it exists)
I digress. An interesting observation I have made following reports of debris being found via satellite images: our oceans are more polluted than we thought. The disappearance of this plane has aired our dirty linen; that man is contaminating the environment at an increasingly alarming rate. Soon, the oceans will cry out in anger and the fishes and other marine life on which man subsists on, will surely bear the brunt of this anger.
Therefore, there is more to this bizarre disappearance of the plane than we initially thought. Maybe its Gods way of reminding man that he is still human. Limited in his ability and vulnerable to the outcome of his transgressions.